Game of Thrones Sparks Controversy: Viewers Express Frustration with Inc*stuous, Humorless Platinum Blondes

Watching the second season of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” prequel series “House of the Dragon”

 has been a lot like running into an old acquaintance from high school at a bar.

You vaguely recognize them from afar. Perhaps they sat in the back during Ms. Carp’s English Lit class. 

Or was it Chemistry? One thing is certain: You have no idea what their name is.

This is how I feel, two years on, about 99% of the Targaryen family.

 After casually devouring Season 1 as though it was not delivery, but DiGiorno, I still don’t know Aemond from Aegon. 

Try though I might, I just can’t keep track of these incest-loving, humorless platinum blondes.

Clarity was never a problem during the eight seasons of “Game of Thrones,” even though there were far more individuals and plotlines to follow.

Yes, a mainstay of George R.R. Martin’s saga was Emilia Clarke’s Daenerys, but there were also plenty of easy, single-syllable monikers to aid digestion: Ned, Jon, Bran and Robb Stark.

Even the two-syllable folks — Jaime, Cersei, Sansa — were a cinch.

Not true of “Dragon”’s crew of identical sounding royal letter-mush: Rhaenyra, Halaena, Daemon, Aemond, Aegon, Jacaerys, Viserys, Larys.

Jeez. Is that a cast list or a password generator?

Adding to the mania, while the original series’ ensemble included members of several different vying houses flung all over Westeros, most of “Dragon”’s denizens are Targaryens and live in just two castles. 

All of them look pretty much the same.

I’m even having trouble with the few non-Targaryens. Instead of Ser Criston Cole, I often hear Ser Colin Jost. He’s shtupping Alicent, whose name I just had to Google. Thank God her dad is simply Otto, as in von Bismarck.

By now you might think I need to go back to school. You’re probably right, but the character jumble is indicative of a larger narrative issue faced by “Dragon”: Aimlessness.

Because of gruesome deaths, quality British acting and giant flying reptiles, the epic drama is entertaining enough. However, it’s less “Game of Thrones” than “Spat of Fam.” 

Extremely similar relatives with extremely similar titles are battling for the crown of Westeros. It’s an extremely similar story.

Too bad the existential threat that “winter is coming” isn’t there to add grander stakes and purpose, and allow disparate clans to briefly cooperate, as it was on “GoT.”

And the tremendous fun of fan theories about who will win out in the end doesn’t apply to a prequel (you can look that info up right now). Guess what? Anakin becomes Darth Vader.

Also, would it kill these guys to tell a joke? The stone-faced Targaryens behave like very naughty monks.

Mostly, though, I just never want to see another “ae” ever again.

As we delve deeper into the world of “House of the Dragon,” it becomes increasingly evident that the Targaryen family tree is more tangled and complex than we initially realized. With names like Rhaenyra, Halaena, Daemon, and Aemond swirling around, it’s easy to get lost in a sea of vowels and consonants.

Furthermore, the lack of differentiation between characters and their relationships can make it challenging to fully invest in their individual journeys. Unlike the easily distinguishable Stark family members from the original series, the Targaryens seem to blur together in a mass of silver hair and dragon motifs.

Additionally, the narrative of “House of the Dragon” appears to be struggling to find its footing, with a sense of aimlessness pervading many of the storylines. While the presence of political intrigue, epic battles, and dragon-fueled drama is undeniably captivating, the lack of a unifying threat like the impending winter in “Game of Thrones” leaves the overarching plot feeling somewhat disjointed.

Despite these criticisms, the series still manages to deliver on the fundamental elements that made its predecessor so popular: high production values, compelling performances, and a generous serving of twists and turns. As we continue to navigate the labyrinthine world of Westeros, let’s hope that “House of the Dragon” finds its own unique voice and narrative direction.

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